What the hell??!!

Okay, I haven't complained in awhile, but after FaceBook posted yet another in a long line of stupid advertisements (Oh so cleverly disguised as a friends post... NOT) and I saw what this place was selling... I got P.O.'ed!  (Pissed the F#@K Off, for those of you keeping track at home)

  

-Rant incoming-

Portrait Professional... advertising the easiest photo retouching software... STOP ADVERTISING USING KIDS!  They have this side by side image of some random teenage girl, I'm sure it was a yearbook image of some kind, showing a before and after capture using their software.

The before image was great, nothing but a couple of TINY freckles on her face... the after image was like something out of some goofy model type magazine!  
You know the ones... paper thin model girls that eat a sandwich... A MONTH, with over the top stupid skinny faces that aren't skinny enough so they are airbrushed so the look almost transparent!  YEAH... THOSE model type magazines. 

So on top of teenage girls... like my daughter is soon to be... on top of giving them unrealistic role models like Disney is famous for these days.
ON TOP of shoving what the "popular media" deems as the perfect female body into the faces of our preteen daughters... NOW they are advertising the at home retouching software, because you "Just aren't good enough for pictures"!

THIS is why I hate people!

BIC - Bastards In Charge!  If I ruled the world, things would be different!

-I don't feel better... but I'm done-

As a parent, I try to do what I think is best for my kids... teach them how to cross the street, the dangers of cyber predators and strangers.  Then you get a face full of what people selling crap are trying to "teach" our kids, and you feel almost helpless.  Between the so called "wholesome family entertainment" being spewed out by the now money mongering companies like DISNEY (don't get me started on those a-holes), and the perception of what's "normal" by media moguls... I'm surprised that kids are even pseudo healthy these days... mentally or otherwise.

This isn't as upbeat a complaint as the others, but hey... they can't all be fun and happy complaints now, can they? 

Woe is the online world of FORMS!

Where is is written these days that filling out forms, and talking to computers instead of people regarding "Customer Service" is the new great American pastime?
 
-Rant incoming-

I spent the better part of 2 hours (it FELT like 2 hours) providing an online company with my name, address, phone number, bank account information, eye color, hair length, name of first born pet, place of birth of my transgendered mailman, and favorite color of my second dentists last toy poodle...

YET, if I forget my account password... they email it to me.

Is it just me, or is this just wrong?  I have to go through a clearance and security check that would put most Department of Defense plants to shame, but if I can't log on... you email me a new password?

What about YOUR security check, big online corporation X?  How do I know there isn't some overworked button puncher bent on world domination going through all my Facebook posts looking for my shoe size, because THAT'S the missing part of his plan to overflow the worlds toilets?  

Maybe I was just grouchy last night while riding the never ending security carousel from hell... but just so you know, it isn't over... I'm still waiting for one key bit of data to be sent to a secret and secure information database that I have to open (with another set of passwords) decode, and then answer another set of questions to prove I am the person known as ME... then I'm done... I think...

 -I feel better now-  

I actually really do feel better now... thank you people of the internet for listening to me complain about what we ALL deal with on a daily basis. Without you, I wouldn't be on a bell tower with a high powered rifle... but the thought of being on the roof of Outback Steakhouse, with a couple dozen over-ripened bananas has occurred to me.  So thank you for helping me stay pseudo-sane... ish.

I am here... to complain!

Everybody talks about, "That stupid driver", or "the a-hole boss", or even "that idiot on the news"... someone during your day that made you think of how deeply disturbed and complacent the human race is becoming.  All because (at the time) we were LESS stupid or A-holeish than THAT OTHER GUY.

Unfortunately these kinds of stories and complaints normally take place around the office water cooler... I have no water cooler as I am stuck at home with an injury that occurred on the job.  Complaining to my kids isn't satisfying, nor is calling the guys at work that think I am on a company paid vacation.  AND I NEED TO COMPLAIN... so, the internet.  Everybody else is doing it, why not me with my in-articulate and random pattern of speech?

Do I care if this is seen... not really.  Am I going to use spell check anyway... yup.

I can't have the odd person look at my rantings and only take away from it that I'm as bad a speller as I am a writer, that would just be wrong.

-Rant incoming-

Here's to YOU - crazy skinny, bird faced lady driving the mustard yellow Sunfire License plate starting in BVA... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

RED means STOP

GREEN means GO

YELLOW does not mean put your CAR IN PARK, and whip out the NOVEL!

What the hell is so riveting about your book that causes you to ignore a full traffic light?

Did you hear the honking?

How about the crazed person yelling the random string of profanities... 

...no?

It's no wonder your passenger side tail light is smashed to hell, somebody else must have appreciated your light reading as well!  (Light reading... get it?)

(As I was alone in the car no children were mentally damaged during this exchange... and YES for those of you keeping track at home, words sounding very much like "Ducking" and "Pitch" were used in a complete sentence.)

-I feel better now-

So anyway, to all of my friends and family that have been forced to listen to my erratic blend of loud and annoying bitching... I here-by dedicate this blog to you.  May you never have to listen to my ranting and raving about matters that don't particularly interest anyone... ever... again.

To anyone else, unlucky enough to find this little self serving blog... I will be out there doing my thing.  If you happen to be in the Royal Oak, Michigan area and do something stupid or fool hearty within sight of the public... I may end up putting it here...

... because I hate you. 

(My own stupidity will be subject to blogging as well... I'm just as big a D-BAG as others... at times)