Saturday, December 31, 2011

Woe is the online world of FORMS!

Where is is written these days that filling out forms, and talking to computers instead of people regarding "Customer Service" is the new great American pastime?
 
-Rant incoming-

I spent the better part of 2 hours (it FELT like 2 hours) providing an online company with my name, address, phone number, bank account information, eye color, hair length, name of first born pet, place of birth of my transgendered mailman, and favorite color of my second dentists last toy poodle...

YET, if I forget my account password... they email it to me.
Is it just me, or is this just wrong?  I have to go through a clearance and security check that would put most Department of Defense plants to shame, but if I can't log on... you email me a new password?

What about YOUR security check, big online corporation X?  How do I know there isn't some overworked button puncher bent on world domination going through all my Facebook posts looking for my shoe size, because THAT'S the missing part of his plan to overflow the worlds toilets?  

Maybe I was just grouchy last night while riding the never ending security carousel from hell... but just so you know, it isn't over... I'm still waiting for one key bit of data to be sent to a secret and secure information database that I have to open (with another set of passwords) decode, and then answer another set of questions to prove I am the person known as ME... then I'm done... I think...



 -I feel better now-  

I actually really do feel better now... thank you people of the internet for listening to me complain about what we ALL deal with on a daily basis. Without you, I wouldn't be on a bell tower with a high powered rifle... but the thought of being on the roof of Outback Steakhouse, with a couple dozen over-ripened bananas has occurred to me.  So thank you for helping me stay pseudo-sane... ish.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I am here... to complain!

Everybody talks about, "That stupid driver", or "the a-hole boss", or even "that idiot on the news"... someone during your day that made you think of how deeply disturbed and complacent the human race is becoming.  All because (at the time) we were LESS stupid or A-holeish than THAT OTHER GUY.

Unfortunately these kinds of stories and complaints normally take place around the office water cooler... I have no water cooler as I am stuck at home with an injury that occurred on the job.  Complaining to my kids isn't satisfying, nor is calling the guys at work that think I am on a company paid vacation.  AND I NEED TO COMPLAIN... so, the internet.  Everybody else is doing it, why not me with my in-articulate and random pattern of speech?

Do I care if this is seen... not really.  Am I going to use spell check anyway... yup.
I can't have the odd person look at my rantings and only take away from it that I'm as bad a speller as I am a writer, that would just be wrong.

-Rant incoming-

Here's to YOU - crazy skinny, bird faced lady driving the mustard yellow Sunfire License plate starting in BVA... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

RED means STOP
GREEN means GO
YELLOW does not mean put your CAR IN PARK, and whip out the NOVEL!

What the hell is so riveting about your book that causes you to ignore a full traffic light?

Did you hear the honking?

How about the crazed person yelling the random string of profanities... 

...no?

It's no wonder your passenger side tail light is smashed to hell, somebody else must have appreciated your light reading as well!  (Light reading... get it?)

(As I was alone in the car no children were mentally damaged during this exchange... and YES for those of you keeping track at home, words sounding very much like "Ducking" and "Pitch" were used in a complete sentence.)

-I feel better now-

So anyway, to all of my friends and family that have been forced to listen to my erratic blend of loud and annoying bitching... I here-by dedicate this blog to you.  May you never have to listen to my ranting and raving about matters that don't particularly interest anyone... ever... again.

To anyone else, unlucky enough to find this little self serving blog... I will be out there doing my thing.  If you happen to be in the Royal Oak, Michigan area and do something stupid or fool hearty within sight of the public... I may end up putting it here...

... because I hate you. 

(My own stupidity will be subject to blogging as well... I'm just as big a D-BAG as others... at times)